Today, I met someone who can totally heal my heart and my mind after suffering from mental diseases for about 2 years. How can that be? Hehe, just keep reading ya! (Oh wait, can my problem be categorized as a mental disease? I don't know haha)

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Yeah, for this last 2 years I really dislike my grandma. I actually don't hate everything about her. I just hate the way she talks. I always feel her arrogance, due to her wealthy life when she was young, everytime she opens her mouth. I just hate it when she talks, 

"I can't adjust my topics of conversation with our neighbors. I love to talk about arts and paintings, basically everything related to your grandpa's job. But here, no one can connects with what I love to talk about. The sad thing is that my friends, which are the wife of your grandpa's friends, mostly have left this world. What can I do?"

If I hear that, actually I feel sad imagining how she needs to continue her life while having no good friends anymore to talk to. With her age right now, about 77 if I don't get it wrong, she can't go travel somewhere more than the radius of 5 km alone. She starts to easily forget things, about what she has just done, what she has just eaten, where she has just gone. 

But, I also hate the fact that she underrated our neighbors. In my opinion, arts and paintings are topics that usually can be understood only by the upper class, or the artists themselves. If my grandma wants to keep chatting and have fun with someone, which is our neighbors, then she has to be the one who adjust the topic of conversation. She can not force our neighbor to reach the level of conversation she love to talk about, like when she was still with her friends.

Yeah, actually that's the only thing I don't like about my grandma. And since I hate my grandma, I can not talk more than 1 minute with her. I can not hold myself not to talk in high intonation and harsh words more than 1 minute. Because I always feel angry everytime I remember how bad she treats other people which she considers not in the same level as her.

But today, I saw how friendly and patient my friend was when he treated an elder man. He talked in a very nice way that made that man loves to talk to him. He looked like a good boy there. 

I suddenly felt the whole sin I've made to my grandma during these 2 years. I don't even remember when was exactly my last time when I sat and had some light talks with her without setting any fake face and smile. 

He reminded me, that we only need to spare some time for the elders, leave behind our works for a while, to grow happiness inside their heart. Just forget everything that gives you burden, no matter how far you hate that elder. Just take it easy and simple. And after a while, he/she will just stop talking and sleep in peace because he/she feels tired.

And today, because I tried to put aside my hate feeling on my grandma, I could successfully bring her back to our home after she attempted to escape. Yeah, my grandma likes to go outside the house and asking random people on the street to catch her a taxi or becak and go to her old house. 

So this afternoon, my neighbor called me and gave the location where my grandma was waiting for a becak or taxi. When I got there, she said that she suggested my grandma to have a prayer first before going. Hoping that she would eventually forget and just sleep at the mosque and then go home. Fortunately, she obeyed my neighbor's suggestion.

She usually don't want to hear my words because I talked to her in high intonation. But today, after doing Asar prayer at mosque, she forgot the fact that she initially wanted to go to her old house. I just asked nicely to walk her home. And she say, 

"Sure, let's go. My feet are so heavy that I can't walk fast." 

It's like a magic! I'm so happy :)

Yeah, starting from today, I will try to erase my hate feeling toward my grandma step by step. Thanks to Allah and my friend, I can finally find my peace again!